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Friday 28 July 2017

On returning to an abandoned place | Comeback

Source: Pexels.com

There is much that could be said about the past two years, in which I neglected to return to the place where I began to explore the joys of writing one's thoughts on the internet for everyone to see, read,
and judge. 
Since I started this blog in 2011, much has changed in my posts, my thoughts, my opinions, because I, too, changed dramatically between the ages of thirteen and nineteen. What I value, what I like, what I dislike, what I consider worthy, all of it has gone through drastically opposite ups and downs, and, with them, so have my random fleeting returns to blogging.
When, in 2015, I posted my last review, I didn't know it would be the last. When I opened my account for the first time in two years, just yesterday, I found unfinished posts I had started months before they were supposed to be published, reviews for books I never finished, didn't care for, loved, or simply forgot whether I finished or not. I was committed, I was on top of it all. And one day, I logged out, closed the page and didn't log back on until 27th July 2017. Just like that. No more posts.
Since that day, I finished high school, visited London for the first time, had an interview at Cambridge, got rejected, had four jobs, got my first dog, moved to London, started university, and had a lot of bumps and high moments along the way. But I felt that I no longer had what I used to, a place to anonymously share my thoughts, in a sort of online anonymous diary that was, in its own way, completely guilt-free and liberating.
More than ever, I feel like the time has arrived to get it back. I feel like I am set on my goals enough, am motivated on achieving them enough (now that I am closer to the place I was supposed to be all along in order to do it), that I can finally focus on writing it down in a semi-coherent manner. On the world wide web. Right here, in the place where I began six years ago (albeit after a few name changes...).
I don't expect anyone to read what I post now. It may even be for the best. But I need to write it anyway. For my own sake, if not for anyone else's - but I will still hope that whoever does read it, appreciates the honesty and manages to take something away from it.
The reason I say this, after all that, is because I am, once more, changing what I had built last time. This, of course, is all because I have, within the last couple of years, undertaken my biggest metamorphosis yet.
From now on, I will be posting reviews, as usual, of books I read, but I will also give my opinions on all other things I may use in my life to make it hurt less through the downs and more enjoyable through the ups: makeup, skin care, London, places, university, UCL, anything.
Long story short, let's see how long I will be back in my perpetually abandoned place this time around.

Joana